new machine at wal-mart

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by 800Phelps, Oct 8, 2009.

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  1. Oct 8, 2009 #1

    800Phelps

    800Phelps

    800Phelps

    grandstang

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    <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> <table style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 1.5pt; width: 100%;" width="100%"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt;" valign="top"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt 0.75pt 0in;" valign="top"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt;" valign="top"> One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him,'My elbow hurts like the dickens!! I guess I'd better see a doctor.'

    'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.

    'There's a diagnostic computer down at
    Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

    So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

    He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.


    10 seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
    'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epsom salts found on aisle 2. Avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

    Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. H e deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard.. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm....... Bathe him with anti-fungal s hampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!


    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart


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    Last edited: Oct 8, 2009
  2. Oct 8, 2009 #2

    Cmprice

    Cmprice

    Cmprice

    JaM oUt WiT YoUr ClAm OuT

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  3. Oct 8, 2009 #3

    800Phelps

    800Phelps

    800Phelps

    grandstang

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    sorry it was so hard to read at first
     
  4. Oct 8, 2009 #4

    allen57

    allen57

    allen57

    Well-Known Member

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  5. Oct 8, 2009 #5

    SRT-W8

    SRT-W8

    SRT-W8

    Quick Brick = Still Slow

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    :lmao::lmao::lmao:
     
  6. Oct 8, 2009 #6

    Tberg725

    Tberg725

    Tberg725

    Well-Known Member

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    Lmao too good.
     
  7. Oct 8, 2009 #7

    dallas05taco

    dallas05taco

    dallas05taco

    Miracle Maker With Chloroform And Astroglide

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    Hey Lil_Red_V6 do they have one at your walmart?
     
  8. Oct 8, 2009 #8

    emoFTW

    emoFTW

    emoFTW

    Well-Known Member

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    lol nice
     
  9. Oct 8, 2009 #9

    Mayhore

    Mayhore

    Mayhore

    ǝpuoןq

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    hahah
     
  10. Oct 8, 2009 #10

    s10tuner86

    s10tuner86

    s10tuner86

    I haz ecotechz

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    I've read that before but it's still funny :lmao:.
     
  11. Oct 8, 2009 #11

    Verrucktwolf

    Verrucktwolf

    Verrucktwolf

    Member

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    :lmao::lmao:
     
  12. Oct 8, 2009 #12

    svt4u2nvy

    svt4u2nvy

    svt4u2nvy

    Here for the beer and lulz

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    would be funny to actually watch people pouring pee into a machine at Walmart
     
  13. Oct 8, 2009 #13

    nhanson

    nhanson

    nhanson

    MN FTW

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    that would be gross
     
  14. Oct 8, 2009 #14

    EsChassisLove

    EsChassisLove

    EsChassisLove

    formerly Sittinslidewayz

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    LMFAO

    I can see the people of wal mart actually falling for a machine like that
     
  15. Oct 8, 2009 #15

    goldfinger67

    goldfinger67

    goldfinger67

    NRRA FTW

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    :lmao::lmao: Thats pretty good
     
  16. Oct 8, 2009 #16

    Mike

    Mike

    Mike

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    Thats funny. :lol:
     
  17. Oct 8, 2009 #17

    эллэвэхк

    эллэвэхк

    эллэвэхк

    I love food

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    Lol that was gold!
     
  18. Oct 8, 2009 #18

    Dr. Satan

    Dr. Satan

    Dr. Satan

    Sacred Cow Tipper

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    Oldie but a goldie